For many, the first date is almost always the most difficult. Nerves are high, anxiety is running rampant and our guard is almost always up. But here you are – having gone on the first date and all things considered, you found yourself having a good time.
Is it already time to start thinking about date #2? Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t and that’s what we’re here to discuss today. Lots can go wrong on a first date and there are a whole plethora of signals that can be read and misread.
Today we’re going to discuss some of the reasons people don’t get second dates and what you can do to correct those mistakes –so that in the event you really enjoy the company from your last experience – that you can put yourself in the best possible position to score a second date. Let’s jump right in.
Not being real
Everyone wants to put their best foot forward but it can be a real turnoff when it comes off that you’re amazing at everything. This is when people embellish, lie or vastly overstate who they are. And dishonesty is never a good way to start a relationship.
Be yourself. Focus on the good stuff for sure; but don’t be afraid to blend some humility in there to show that you’re actually human. Not only will it come off that you’re not perfect, but also that you won’t demand perfection out of your mate as well.
Being a little too real
Okay, we know this flies in the face of #1, but there is such a thing as being too real. While honesty is the best policy, it’s probably not the best idea to share how you threw up all over your roomate’s keyboard in college after a long night of drinking during a fire alarm you pulled.
Long story, short – it’s about keeping a balance; keeping things light. You don’t have to be superficial, but it’s better to save your inner weirdo for later – and unveil that slowly.
One-sided conversations are not conversations
When your date starts to get that glazed over look in their eyes – the one that looks like they’re bored – then you’ve said too much. Nervous chatter is one thing but if you’re taking over the conversation and they can’t get a word in – then they’re not likely having fun. It also tells people you have no interest in what they’re all about – just yourself.
Be a generous listener. A little awkward silence is way better than a 2 hour bulldozer of a monologue.
Too much, too soon
It’s great when we find someone we’re crazy about, but it’s also tempting to get carried away with things; utterly lost in your daydreams and fantasies. Don’t rush to assumptions about future plans and don’t mention laid out plans on the first date and the time in-between. Give your date the space to grow to appreciate you and care about you the same way you care about them.
This might seem a little silly, but we mean it. Shower, shave and don’t smell bad. Don’t ignore your date to flirt with other people while you’re on the date. Don’t get hammered. And for the love of all things – tuck those controversial conversations and topics away for another time. If all goes well, you’ll have plenty of time to feel your way through all that stuff, anyway.
All we’re saying is – behave yourself and be considerate of your date.
Second dates can be hard to get but mind your p’s and q’s and you’ll be out on #2 in no time. Good luck!