So you’ve filled out the profile, you’ve done everything to present yourself in the best possible light and even messaged some potential matches. But you’re still not getting dates.
Ugh. Nothing is worse on the psyche than perceived rejection!
The reasons you’re not getting a date might be very apparent, but some others might not be so obvious. Dating is hard and trying to find a mate can be frustrating. Today, we’re going to talk a little bit about what might be holding you back from finding your dream match online and some potential remedies for each.
Let’s jump right in!
Your heart isn’t in it
If there’s anything that’s impossible to mask – whether online or in-person, it’s whether you really want to do something or not. Dating is no different and people can tell when you’re simply going through the motions. They’ll be able to recognize how genuine you are reading through your profile and they’ll sure as heck be able to tell it in person. Either way – they won’t want to meet up. Show that your heart is really in this thing, that you’re 100% invested and truly looking for love.
Not sharing enough of yourself
Online dating can be a great tool – but you need to use it wisely and honestly. Be you. People are constantly putting forth images of what they wish they were or who they think others want them to be. Be yourself. Show your quirks. Not only will you come off as more authentic, but it’ll drastically increase your chances of not just finding a match, but finding a match that actually lasts.
You’re being unrealistic
Online dating in a nutshell is really simple. It’s an opportunity to meet people who share your interests and you have a chance to hopefully start dating them. What it’s not – is some magic love potion that will reveal you the person of your dreams. Often the man or woman of your dreams is anything but dreamy – and it’s their quirks, foibles and charm that you grow to love and appreciate over time.
Online dating matches people up and sometimes it works really well. Other times it doesn’t. The point is to keep an open mind and understand that it’s not a panacea to all your problems and just because someone isn’t the perfect match, doesn’t make them a bad match.
You’re not being open with what you really want
Seems a little counter-intuitive given our last point, but there is a balance. Be honest about what you like, want, and want out of a potential partner. Be honest about what is important to you and be direct! What qualities are must-have’s? What qualities are you looking for in a mate that you can’t possibly live without? In the same vein – what can you deal with? What can you let slide? These are important conversations to not only have with yourself – but communicate to others via your profile.
At the end of the day, it’s all about maintaining a balance, being truthful about who you are and what you want out of a relationship. Put things out there as they are and do it with conviction and you’ll start to get more ‘yes’ answers than none at all. Good luck!